Memory

Memory;

It’s a gift yet a punishment.

You can look back on all the great accomplishments you’ve done,

Yet you can also see all the bad choices you’ve made.

The ones you want to forget, to repress?

Like the ones where you lose

a friend, a lover, family?

Where you hear something,

see something,

you shouldn’t have?

You make a bad choice,

you never forget it.

People that tell you to let go of the past,

that the past is the past and not the now,

that it was easy for them,

You can’t stop thinking about it.

It’s replaying over,

and over,

and over.

What people don’t realize is all

those bad pieces of the past,

the ones that follow you, haunt you-

the ones you let go-

are better for you.

The bad ones shape you, make you who you are,

The bad choices teach you that this world isn’t a shiny, perfect place.

It’s shows you the consequences in your actions.

The ability to keep memories, the bad ones especially, is a double-edged sword.

A punishment, never-ending.

A gift, overlooked.

This is me.

This is me.
Are my words entertaining nonsense?
Do they hold no effect on you?
Here I am.
Uttering words to you again.
I’m talking too much yet again,
aren't I?
This is me.
You have me locked inside these walls.
Just lock me up so you won’t hear me speak.
I'm just an entertaining nuisance to you.
yes, I believe I am.
Quick.
Lock me up.
Lock me up and throw away the key.

Our Identity; Grace;

Our identity.
When we think of this many images come to mind of course. Your identity can often be found by looking at your birth certificate... Showing a picture, your name, something like that. But does it say anything about who you are...?


1 Peter: 2 reads;
'But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.'


It's hard to swallow right? When I look in the mirror I see my reflection and that's not one bit a royal priest I see a broken person I look in the mirror and I admit to myself that God's calling me to be a better follower of him to be a better sister, student, daughter.


It's shown me the things.. The things that I've done wrong. And if you're like me and you look in the mirror and you see the bruises, cuts, scars and the things that we don't think so highly of ourselves.. Boy! Our identity sure gets blurred doesn't it? It's blurred in this: we can't see that we're chosen and we're royal priesthood. We see brokenness... And so the question is: what do we do with that image that we see in our earthly life? How do we handle it?  How do we wipe it away? And the fact is, you and I can't. It's only through Christ who does that. Our identities are secure in Christ. Through God's grace. Grace. When I think of grace I think of it as how it was taught to me in my confirmation classes. Grace: God's riches at Christ's expense. We do not deserve to go to heaven. We deserve hell. But we receive grace, it's our free gift.
The sins we commit may sometimes seem absolutely terrible. But what Jesus did on the cross was meant to take what is unforgivable and make it forgivable. That's Jesus' grace.

When we look at our identity and think that we are broken.. We also think we have a whole lifetime to try to fix what we've done wrong. In reality we can't fix it. Only Christ can. It's not about us. It's all about him. And if we question if our identity truly belongs in him look what it says in scripture about who you are. You are : fearfully and wonderfully made, precious to God, cared about since your conception, God's child, chosen by Jesus, loved dearly by God, free from condemnation, a temple, a dwelling place of God's spirit. You are redeemed and forgiven for all your sins. You are his. Sin has made our identities blurry. We stopped seeing ourselves as his. We started seeing ourselves as broken.


And so I end with the question I started with: who do you think you are? And my answer to this is a simple response: Well, I am his. Called to be his. To live for him so I can shine in darkness. So that others can see the light that is flowing through me, the light of Christ.

I'd like to feel your heartbeat, God.

The Bible does't describe how Eve looked like. She must've been THE MOST gorgeous woman to EVER grace the Earth because she was made in God's image... like God literally made made her. But then the Bible doesn't focus on that. It focuses on her role as wife to Adam and her duty to God, her Creator.


Interesting, no?
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." - 1 Peter 3:3-4


The "standard" of feminine excellence is not meant to be superficial. What matters is the inner self. That UNFADING BEAUTY. Holy moly, ladies! You hear that? Are you understanding that? Our obsessions with cosmetics, image, body shapes, etc.. don't matter. They never did to begin with!
I don't know about all of you girls, but I'm going after God's heart. 
I totally want a gentle and quiet spirit! 
Yes, yes!! I'd like to feel your heartbeat, God. 

Savior.

I think a problem with Christians is that sometimes we confuse the idea of sharing our good news with others and being someone's savior.


Sometimes I have to remind myself that it is not my will, but God's to be done.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that I am not the savior-- Jesus is.


I've seen and been badly burned by some people who have felt the need to play "God" with my life. Maybe it begins with genuine care and concern, or with good intentions, but after time, it becomes an idol and an addiction that we feel we cannot and SHOULD NOT let go of... because after all, the Bible calls us to help others right?


We should learn and be constantly reminding ourselves of our places. We are called to help others, but we are not designated as God or as THE Savior. But in the end, there is a fine line.


Dear God,
Not my will, but let YOURS be done.