Why me ?

This had nothing to do with jealousy, hurt or envy. It had to do with doubts. The same niggling doubts I had always had about not belonging. I didn't feel like I belonged with my family, and now I didn't feel like I belonged with him, except unlike my family, who was stuck to me, he had chosen me, and this I didn't understand. Why had he fallen for me? It didn't make sense. I knew it was school that brought us together in the first place, put us in the same space so we could even get to know each other. And I knew how that he liked how helpful and nice I appeared to be. And that he loved my sense of humor. And I knew that when it was the two of us alone together, we could talk for hours and hours about anything and that made me feel like I truly had someone I could trust. I understood all that in my head, but I still didn't believe it in my heart. When I was with him, I felt picked, chosen, special, and loved... But that just made me wonder why me? Even more.

~ If I stay ~ By Gayle Forman ~

I'm not

I'm not perfect, nor am I very intelligent. I have my flaws just as everyone else does, and the friends I have now are the ones who made me who I am today. I make constant mistakes, and never really learn from them. I don’t see myself as pretty or beautiful. When it comes to love, I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and trust people too easily. I'm still a bit clueless as to why people like me; I don't see myself as "special". Just another person amongst many others. I have problems, just like everyone else, I tend to complain about them and always somehow seem to get caught up it pointless drama. I'm trying to change, be more confident in myself, and to smile more. I'm stubborn, really stubborn, don't even get me started. Life hasn't been what I wanted it to be, but I know sometime soon it might change for the better. I'm very complex and yet so simple. I'm quiet yet very out-spoken; I'm shy but very bold. I'm surrounded by tons of people, but I feel so alone. To understand me, is a life time’s task, so just get to know the basics of me instead of trying to figure me out. Everyone I meet tends to leave a different impact in my life, good and bad, but to experience and learn is part of life. And Love? I'll only love one person, forever and ever. I also want to finish with school, and be known as smart. To recieve a scholorship and do what I want to do in my life. I'm young, I'm still learning, I've yet more of the world to see, I'm not very cautious, I get hurt easily, I hurt people, I always see the good side of people even though they're jerks, but that's who I am. I'm me, and no one will change that. I will never change. Even if asked. I'll be who I am and I will always stick to it.